Divorce Mediation
Divorce mediation is becoming an increasingly popular option among couples negotiating a divorce agreement. The process involves working with a neutral third party, called a mediator, to resolve all of the issues in your divorce. The mediator doesn’t rule on disputes or make binding decisions. Instead, the role of the mediator is to facilitate the process of arriving at consensus on all the important issues associated with your divorce.
If you and your spouse are able to work together to resolve your divorce in an amicable manner, mediation is often the best approach. However, if there are significant disagreements with little chance of finding common ground, then it is likely that you will need to resolve your disputes in court.
Benefits of Mediation
Mediation offers a variety of important benefits compared with resolving your divorce through litigation:
- Saves you a significant amount of money by eliminating court fees and costly lawyer bills
- Avoids lengthy, acrimonious courtroom battles
- Allows you and your spouse to maintain control over how all issues are resolved instead of having a judge with little knowledge of your best interests impose a ruling based on the laws established by your state
- Establishes a framework for open, honest and amicable communication with your ex-spouse that can help avoid future conflicts, especially when young children are involved
- Increases the likelihood that the final divorce agreement will reflect the best interests of you, your ex-spouse and your children
- More effectively addresses the needs of young children and usually helps them achieve a smoother transition to post-divorce life
- Keeps all personal information discussed during negotiations confidential and out of the public record
- Usually allows you to resolve your divorce much faster and move on with your life more quickly
Is Divorce Mediation Right for Me?
Mediation is most successful in situations where both parties are willing to work together honestly and amicably. You may want to pursue mediation if:
- You and your spouse are able to agree on many of the large issues to be settled, such as spousal support, child custody and support, and property division
- There is no history of domestic violence or abuse
- You and your spouse are both honest about your finances and all assets that need to be divided
- There is no history of substance abuse or mental illness
- Both parties have a willingness to compromise
Divorce Mediation Process
You and your spouse may choose to work directly with the mediator without legal representation, or you may both decide to work with attorneys. Mediation can be successful either way.
While all mediators will bring a slightly unique approach, there is generally a common way the process unfolds:
- Prior to your initial mediation session, both spouses will speak with the mediator (usually via phone) to provide some background information about the marriage and the issues that need to be resolved.
- During the initial meeting, the mediator will explain the process and what can be expected. In some instances, this may involve everyone being in the same room the entire time. In others, the mediator may prefer to have separate sessions to better understand your views and wishes in private. The guidelines for the process will be agreed upon at this time. During this session, you and your spouse will also have the opportunity to make a brief statement about your situation.
- The mediator will seek to establish which issues are mutually agreed upon and which issues need to be resolved. Then, a plan will be devised to help you and your spouse resolve the issues in dispute. This may involve the need to gather additional information. The mediator will ask that all necessary information be provided at the next session.
- Negotiations will begin at the next mediation session. Often, the mediator will suggest dealing with simple issues first in order to build trust and encourage compromise. During this process, the mediator will help ensure each party is listening and trying to understand the other spouse’s point of view. This can often help build a better framework for compromise. It’s crucial that neither party is attached to a specific solution. Compromise only works when both parties are willing to make sacrifices to arrive at a consensus that is beneficial for everyone involved.
- Once the negotiation process is complete and all issues have been agreed upon, the mediator will craft the final divorce agreement. If you have young children, this will include a parenting plan. These documents will form your divorce agreement and will become legally binding once approved by the court.
